You have heard of the expressions, “You drive yourself crazy” and “Don’t drive yourself crazy.”
There was a time when I was an expert, a grand master, at driving myself crazy – living in a world of my own creation, suffering in silence from self-inflicted mental turmoil and torture.
My mind, at times, uncontrollable, a whirlwind of madness – as I created conflicts that didn’t exist, conversations that never happened, fears that were imaginary, uncertainties that were illusionary.
I was on a cycle of therapy, medications and mental frenzy – a roundabout of exhaustion in search of an exit, an escape.
Then one day I decided to start a journal – to write down what I was going through on a daily basis – and being brutally honest about the devastating conflicts that were taking place within my mind, and the turmoil and torture these thoughts created.
Did it help? Not at first, but I kept writing day after day – a required rigid regiment in my life. Gradually, I began to improve, becoming more aware of the self-destruction of my thoughts as I saw then written on the page.
In time I was better able to control these thoughts and was able to recognize when my mind was about to take flight on a trip I didn’t want to take.
So, take pen in hand – one word after another will take you on a journey, an adventure, destination unknown.
Written by Thomas Truelson, who is retired and living on Cape Cod. Thomas has been a very frequent vistor to Ireland over the years and for many years wrote on Ireland for the Boston Irish Echo. Thomas has lost loved ones to suicide and survived a serious suicide attempt. He now writes on the sadness of suicide, suicide prevention and loss on his blog fortheheartcries.